Is Your Inheritance a Burden or a Blessing?

“And someday son, this will all be yours.” Sound familiar? When we collect things with the intention of passing them down from generation to generation, we hope these treasures will become meaningful parts of our family’s lives. Some end up appreciating these treasures, while others are overwhelmed with stuff, hold estate sales, donate them, and even feel relieved when we can hand them down to other family members.

This box, filled with generations of recipes, continues to be a cherished possession.

What will your kids say one day when it’s their turn? Will anyone really want it all? Do you have specific instructions for when the time comes? Take an inventory of your own life, collections and belongings. Who will want it one day? Any Picassos hanging around? Does the next generation want to polish your silver? Does your will detail how the items will be distributed?

So, what’s a family member to do? “Papa Leon” Goldstein’s prized antique meerschaum pipes, miniature replicas of majestic sculptures, are his prized treasure. Leon and his wife of blessed memory, Betty, had a 180-piece pipe collection that they amassed in their travels. When Betty passed and Leon downsized, the collection was integrated with the décor of his smaller residence, keeping it intact.

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Leon Goldstein’s rare pipe collection will one day hopefully first head to a museum.

His daughter, Gail Heyman, and her siblings know how much the collection means to Papa Leon. “Someone once gave me a pipe and while I never smoked pipes, that’s how it all started,” says Leon. “When we’d be traveling, we’d stop at antique stores, and spent years collecting these pipes. I love this collection. One day, I would hope that a museum would display them before the collection is split it up within the family.” Heyman and her siblings, along with Leon’s children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, will ultimately each select one pipe as a way to honor Papa Leon’s wishes.

Eddie Goldberg, too, has been thinking about objects and the importance of family traditions. “My wife, Renae, died in the spring of 2019, one month shy of our 50th wedding anniversary,” he said. “I wanted to pay tribute to her and our life together. As I concentrated on how to remember her best, I was reminded of her cooking skills and her infamous ‘recipe box,’ which was a fixture in our kitchen. I took and framed a photograph of it in a special frame and hung it in our kitchen, which was her favorite room. If anything defined my wife best it was her love of building tradition. My hope is that this photo will grow in value to my family and continue to hang in my home and, after I’m gone, in our daughter’s home. My belief in tradition is part of my strong Jewish heritage. When Renae was a child, she was also the recipient of her parents’ dresser, which they had received on their marriage from Renae’s mother’s parents. When Renae’s father died and her mother moved to a high-rise, we had the paint stripped off and under that paint was a beautiful mahogany dresser. Years later, when Renae’s mother died, we brought the dresser to our home. That dresser represents the same thing to me as I hope my photo of Renae’s recipe box will mean to my daughter. L’dor v’dor.”

Eddie Goldberg preserved the beloved recipe box with his photographic talents as a tribute to his late wife.

Lori Halpern and her brother Mark Haimowitz not only inherited their mother’s artwork, but also incorporated it into their homes. “My mother, Cynthia Lambert Groves of blessed memory, was an artist and sadly passed away on Dec. 9, 2006, at the young age of 66,” Lori said. “She was a professor of humanities at Florida Community College at Jacksonville, and my mom didn’t spell out who would get what regarding her art; she wanted Mark and I to split things up. When she sadly lost her battle with lung cancer and it came time to empty out her home, Mark and I did a good job of splitting up her art in a way that would’ve made Mom proud. There was a sketch that was meaningful to both of us, and instead of arguing about it, I got ‘Aunt Ruthie’ (as we call this piece) first and then every big birthday we switch and give the picture and one other on loan until the next milestone birthday. Mom is smiling down on us that we were able to find a way to make it work and it is always fun to get ‘Aunt Ruthie’ back.”

Lori Halpern treasures her mother’s paintings, which she and her brother shared.

Patty and Larry Brown’s mother, Hannah Blumenthal Brown, owned a beautiful selection of mid-century items, from gloves to hats and more. When she passed, Patty treasured her gloves and hats, as she felt they were beautifully made, representing a bygone era. Along with monogrammed linens from tablecloths to napkins that were used for family gatherings, Patty had them laundered by a professional cleaner, restored and returned to their grandeur. She put them in storage boxes for safekeeping and for their children to enjoy one day.

Leather gloves that belonged to Hannah Brown still inspire her family.

And, last but not least, while I have embraced many of my family’s heirlooms, from framing my grandmother’s antique beaded purse to shadow-boxing my father’s wartime medals and dog tags, I inherited a collection of over 101 porcelain and bone china Dalmatian figurines from my mother. It includes the dozens of Staffordshire and bone china dogs she and I collected over 35 years on our monthly antiquing adventures. Having grown up with (actual) Dalmatian dogs my entire life, after my mother passed, these figurines represented precious memories shared together. I preserved them in a cabinet my artisan cousin Steve Cohen made, keeping it all in the family. So far, the only candidate and family member who has expressed interest in my prized collection is two-year-old Poppy, who visits the dogs and loves saying hello to them.

I hope Poppy or a family member will eventually want them, and continue to stay hopeful that my spotted collection will be passed down, along with the joy and love these inanimate objects represent to me.