What’s in a Number? Really!

Various experts in their fields have given all of us these new and sometimes outrageous expectations. Have you heard? And in case you are living under a rock and have not heard the news … 80 is the new 70, and 70 is the new 60, and 60 is the new 50 and so on and so and forth.

We read about and even know folks who are living way past one hundred, yes 100! We can no longer say you should live Biz Ah Hundert Un Tvahntsick (you should live to 120). Of course, simply saying this to someone is no guarantee. Consider there are many folks who do not have the desire or patience to live Biz Ah Hundert Un Tvahntsick. Living to be 100 might be just perfect.

I myself live in the 50-something world. (If you believe this, I have the exclusive listing to a beautiful bridge in Paris I can sell you.) Given I allow myself to live in a state of deluded numbers, you are free to validate this “truth” by simply asking any one of my four girls, I can claim any number I feel like on any given day, and believe me I do, believe me I do! And miracle of all miracles, this proclamation also takes years off my girls’ ages. If I am not careful, I will soon be changing diapers again (Oy).

In a world where the proliferation of senior adult living communities, assisted living and memory care facilities are popping up all over the country like popcorn, our decisions and choices of how we choose to live our alleged “golden” years, or some refer to this time in our lives as the third act, can be overwhelming. However, these options certainly bear out the fact we are all in for a long, sometimes bumpy road.

If you follow medical breakthroughs and, of course, the most reliable of sources for anything of real importance TikTok, (I am not referring to the sound of a clock), you will have heard the extraordinary news that there are new ways of injecting poisons into our face or body parts. I will only mention one of these, as the others are beyond my meager comprehension or vivid imagination.

This new method involves mining the eggs of salmon, yes salmon, the kind that swim upstream, the kind you find in a can at your local grocery market, or even the lox we all shmear with cream cheese on our bagels. Of course, should you choose the salmon route, there is no proof, as of this moment in time, your swim prowess will in any way become more elegant or that your swim strokes will suddenly seem stronger, and I won’t even bother mentioning your diving techniques.

A few facts about salmon before you call your dermatologist: Adult salmon spawn in freshwater, where female salmon lay thousands of eggs that are fertilized by male salmon. Spawning can occur in spring, summer, fall, or winter and depends on the salmon species. After spawning, adult salmon die and their bodies provide nutrients for the freshwater ecosystem. Still considering the salmon shots as beauty enhancement?

Age is just a number after all, isn’t it? Aging is a natural part of life. I’ve heard there are many, less fishy ways of staying young.

My girls must be having belly laughs reading this mishigas (craziness).

So, allow this youngster to share my wish for all my dear friends, my dear readers whom I consider friends, all of whom wonder about my own mishigas, you should be well and happy.

Biz Ah Hundert Un Tvahntsick.

Shaindle reminds our readers that age is just a state of mind.

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