Rosh Hashanah Message: Nina Kram Schlachter

There is nothing like a new opportunity, a fresh start, or a do-over. A chance to change it up, try it differently and do it better. It’s something we contemplate this time of year for those we hold dear, especially our children. Our success instilling these principals in our children is dependent upon our teaching and modeling, and is reinforced by societal expectations. New parents dream of the many ways their child will excel – especially scholastically but also athletically, musically, and socially. These intellectual, physical, and financial traits are societal norms that benefit the individual. We also want our child to grow up well liked and well respected, by peers and adults alike. Judaism tells us “there are many paths to heaven,” and the simplest tenant of most religions is to teach our children to be good people. Civility and kindness are individual traits that benefit the society. We can live with modest means, modest skills and modest talents. We may wish more for our children, but we can live with less.

More importantly, communities and societies can live and even thrive with modest levels of achievement. The same is not true about civility and kindness. The lack of these will eventually destroy a community. As a physician, my bias was that medical care is of primary importance for a society. Over time, I came to believe that the passing on of real (and honest) knowledge overrides even medical care. As I’ve aged, I have come to believe that both of these take a back seat to civility and kindness, which are necessary and even mandatory for the continuation of a society. All I need do is turn on the news to feel overwhelmed by the progression and enormity of the civility that we lack, both globally and within our country and even locally. I am reminded of the parable about the child who comes across thousands of starfish stranded on the beach. She stoops and tosses many back into the water.

Asked why she bothers, “It doesn’t matter, you can’t save them all?” She responds, “It matters to the ones I save.” This year as we wish each other a sweet and healthy new year, with the hope 5784 will give us many occasions to schepp nachas, let us make an extra effort and model for our children, the importance of picking up the starfish that are within each of our individual reaches. “How do we change the world? One random act of kindness at a time.” Morgan Freeman; “Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” Archbishop Desmond Tutu; “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. Aesop; “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.” questionably attributed to Jennifer Dukes Lee; L’shana tovah tikateivu v’teichateimu.

Nina Kram Schlachter is a retired psychiatrist and proud Mamalah of 5 grown children & 2 DsIL.