It’s A Pundemic

1. Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg; tomorrow romaines to be seen.

2. New monthly budget: Gas, $0, entertainment, $0, clothes, $0. Groceries and beverages $2,799.

3. Breaking News: Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to stop COVID-19, but to stop eating.

4. Not to brag, but I haven’t been late to anything in over five months.

5. Nothing like relaxing on the couch after a long day of being tense on the couch.

6. People keep asking “Is coronavirus REALLY all that serious?” Listen y’all, the casinos and churches are closed. When heaven and hell agree on the same thing, it’s probably pretty serious.

7. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask and ask for money.

8. Coronavirus has turned us all into dogs. We wander around the house looking for food. We get told “no” if we get too close to strangers, and we get really excited about going for walks and car rides.

9. My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, “Throw this and wherever it lands, that’s where I’m taking you when this pandemic ends.” Turns out, we’re spending two weeks behind the fridge.