Following the Rules is Not Enough

I may not be the handiest man around, but I know that if I take the time to follow the instructions, I can build myself IKEA furniture. I don’t even have to think that much, the instructions tell me exactly what I need to do every time. When building a life, on the other hand, instructions may help but they are certainly not enough. The difference is that every piece of IKEA furniture of the same model follows the same design, and none has a mind of its own. This is not the case for people, as the Mishnah states, “The King of kings, the Holy One, blessed be He, stamped every human being with the seal of Adam the first human, and not one of them resembles another.”

There are a lot of instructions or rules for living a good life out there, such as “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey or the “12 Rules for Life” that Jordan Peterson claims are an antidote to chaos. Yet, following rules for good living without understanding the values they convey or the character they seek to cultivate can leave us falling short, both because rules cannot address every situation and because we may follow them in ways that miss their purpose.

Rules provide general guidance for people in wide-ranging situations, but applying them to particular people and circumstances requires judgment. Take, for example, the rule, “distance yourself from falsehood” (Exodus 23:7). Imagine, as the Talmud does, the situation of praising a homely bride at a wedding. Is this a time to make the bride happy or a time to be blunt? Following the honesty rule without tact may cause you to transgress a different rule – to love your neighbor as yourself. Yet it is possible to communicate with both candor and care. It just takes more than simple obedience. It requires an understanding of how best to apply the general rules to specific cases.

In addition to being unable to apply them appropriately, when we follow rules without seeking to understand the lessons and values they convey, we risk missing their purpose in two ways. We may begin to treat life as a series of requirements to fulfill, rather than seeing rules as guidance for how to live. Alternatively, we may become skilled at complying in ways that undermine the very character those rules are meant to cultivate.

When we treat life as a means of observing rules, we may assume that doing more is always better than doing what is appropriate to our abilities and circumstances. The Mishnah challenges that assumption: “One who does more and one who does less … [both are accepted] as long as their heart is directed towards Heaven.” The Talmudic sages derive this lesson from the fact that the Torah states that animal, bird, and meal offerings are all pleasing to G-d; size doesn’t matter, only that the offering matches the person’s ability to offer. Rabbi Joseph Karo, in his “Shulchan Arukh,” applies this same principle to prayer, saying that “it is better for one to say only a few supplications with concentration then to say many supplications without concentration.” The point is that observing rules is not an end in itself; rules are meant to guide us toward sincere, thoughtful action. Similarly, the Talmud’s teaching that G-d seeks the heart invites us to consider our sincerity and the character we cultivate through our actions, rather than focusing only on how much we do.

Conversely, when we believe following rules is all that matters, we might settle for the minimum or look for loopholes to avoid our obligations. Developing character, however, requires us to take responsibility for our decisions and their consequences. When faced with a challenge, we shouldn’t ask only, “What do I have to do?” Rather, we should think, “What do I stand for, and what does this situation call for?” As Hillel teaches, “In a place where there are no virtuous people, strive to be a virtuous person.” Such a person acts from conviction and has a commitment that goes beyond mere compliance.

While rules can establish expectations for our behavior and challenge us to examine our motives, simply following them is not enough. We must internalize the principles and values they convey, apply their lessons in everyday life, and develop our character by making thoughtful choices and taking responsibility for our actions.

The next time we face an unfamiliar situation or feel unsure how to respond, we may need to look for guidance or ask someone for instructions on what to do. When that happens, we should also ask ourselves two questions: First, do these instructions fit the circumstances, or are there particular factors I need to consider? Second, am I simply trying to fulfill an obligation, or does my response embody the principles and values I am committed to living by? If we do this, we won’t only be following the rules, we will also be “taking them to heart” (Deut. 6:6).