Mispacha is at the Heart of Jewish Culture

Most of us remember the opening song from “Fiddler on the Roof”– people from my generation especially the album with the original Broadway cast. The song was “Tradition.” At the end, Tevye (Zero Mostel) exclaimed that without our traditions our lives would be as shaky “as a fiddler on the roof!” The rest of course is musical theatre history.

As you probably recall, the opening number primarily focused on the family: the papa, the mama, the daughter, the son. The mishpacha — the family. Family life has been central to the Jewish experience, as it has for most traditional cultures, going back to ancient times.

Almost every Biblical figure from Am Yisrael (the People Israel) is married and has children. Jeremiah was explicitly forbidden from doing so by the Holy One as a mercy to him, because G-d foresaw the terrible fates of his family at the hands of the Babylonians were he to marry and have children. There is a tradition — not stated in the Bible — that Ezra the Scribe never married. The Bible is silent about a few other figures such as Miriam or Daniel. As a whole, the Tanach (Hebrew Scriptures) is relentlessly family oriented.

Subsequent Judaism would be focused on marriage and children as well. One possible exception was the Essenes, the Greek term for the ancient pietists (Chasidim) who went into the wilderness and would not usually raise a family. They were instead waiting for the end of the world and the Day of Judgement. The Qumran sect near the Dead Sea, responsible for the Dead Sea Scrolls, may have been Essenes themselves or a similar group. The Essenes and Qumran sects flourished in Greek and then Roman times — about the same period as Hillel and Jesus.

It is common for millennial groups, preparing for the world’s end, not to marry or have children (for example, the Shakers). It is also common for monastic groups, as were the Essenes and the Qumran sects, to forgo romance and family life. This form of spiritual expression has been common in some branches of Christianity and Buddhism for example, but rare in Judaism.

Today, there is much concern about dating, marriage, and family life in the United States, throughout the west, in the Far East, and throughout the developed world generally. Almost all these countries, including our own, are below replacement level. Some, particularly China, Japan and South Korea, are now far below replacement level. Replacement level would be each woman having, on average, two children during her lifetime, or each person, whether male or female, replacing himself or herself through procreation. Societies that do not do so both age and shrink.

The reasons this is happening are complex. They have to do with new technologies and new disincentives for both sexes to date, to get married, to have children. There are economic pressures of course. Lack of religious commitment is also at play. There is no easy fix.

One country which is certainly developed, and wired, and nevertheless bucking this trend, is Israel. Israel is well above replacement level. Israeli women have on average about three children per woman. People do generally get married and have more than one child, whether Jewish or not (Arab citizens), or whether religious or not. The Orthodox have more children, but even the more or less secular Israelis are having kids.

Why? Apparently, the idea of mispacha, which stretches back thousands of years to Abraham and Sarah, has left an indelible impression on the Jewish people. The very root of the Hebrew word mishpacha implies nurturing children. This is a very good thing. For Jews, it should be a cause of celebration, and for those around the world concerned about the declining birth rate, something to study and perhaps emulate.