Program Connects Seniors to LGBTQ+ Community
Temple Sinai and SOJOURN pave the way for authentic discussions between senior members and the LGBTQ+ community.
Temple Sinai members aged 65 and over participated in an educational “lunch and learn” focused on gender expression, sexual orientation and appropriate terminology during a presentation by SOJOURN, an Atlanta organization that promotes change and inclusion for LGBTQ+ Jews and people of all faiths. The hope is that sessions like this one will better prepare an older generation to understand both gender identity and sexual orientation in today’s terms.
Held under the auspices of Navon, the seniors group at the synagogue, “Understanding the Rainbow: Exploring the Changing World of Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation,” was led by McKenzie Wren, special projects manager at SOJOURN. Particularly during the High Holidays, the synagogue hopes sessions like this one will help pave the way for grandparents and LGBTQ+ grandchildren to have authentic discussions and better connect. At the session, the participants learned about the importance of being an ally and supporting family members.
According to Cantor Beth Schafer, the Bunzl Family Cantorial Chair at the synagogue, “We know that conversations will happen during the holidays, and we do not want these teens and young adults to have the added burden of educating older family members at the same time. This program helped close the information gap. The discussion during the session was so positive, and our Navon members could ask any questions without judgment.”
The lunch and learn was held in June to coincide with national Pride month. According to Cantor Schafer, Temple Sinai clergy, staff and members wanted to demonstrate that they are an affirming community. The genesis of the program began in the spring of 2023 when Cantor Schafer, who identifies as a lesbian, invited queer teens to dinner with her so they knew that had an ally at Temple Sinai. She wanted to create an environment of trust and find out how the synagogue could best support them. During the dinner, the teens shared their experiences coming out to their parents and grandparents, and expressed a wish that they did not have to be the ones to educate their relatives. Afterwards, Cantor Schafer reached out to Rebecca Stapel-Wax, executive director of SOJOURN, to inquire about an educational program to address the need expressed by the teens.
The initial conversation led to more discussions, and the idea was brought to life by Carrie Bohn and Avery Friedman, congregational engagement managers at the Sandy Springs synagogue. In preparing for the program, the two wanted to be certain that the older generation would feel comfortable asking any questions about the subject. A format was developed, focusing on open dialogue among all the participants. “McKenzie Wren led an awesome discussion where so many genuine questions were asked by attendees. That is exactly what we wanted,” said Bohn.
The two-hour program was attended by 40 members and included a review of the changing terminology around gender and sexual diversity, explaining the difference between gender roles and sexual orientation. The group also learned about biases, stereotypes, discrimination, micro-aggressions, and the progression of how hate grows. They explored how everyday actions can create or destroy a sense of welcome and comfort for family, friends and communities.
“Our grandparents want to be allies and genuinely understand gender expression and sexual orientation. This program was truly comprehensive in elucidating queer concepts and nomenclature,” said Cantor Schafer.
Larry Weiner, a congregant at Temple Sinai, is the co-chair of NAVON. A retired educator, he attended the session and appreciated learning more about the appropriate use of personal pronouns such as he, she and they, as well as other important concepts. “We all need to learn more. We raised our kids with less knowledge than they have now. Our children, many of whom are now in their forties, are raising kids who are even more informed about gender orientation and sexual identity. Our intent in sponsoring this program was to promote greater understanding and acceptance of all people. While it may be harder for our generation to understand all the new terminology, it does not mean we are not accepting of differences or needs,” he stressed.
Shirley Michalove, another attendee and a Temple Sinai founder, concurs. “I wanted to learn what is happening in the Atlanta community. Twenty years ago, no one talked about this subject, and there were no support groups here. Today people are much more open. We have come a long way and it’s healthier that we have progressed,” she said.
Glossary of Terms
*This list shows the variety of language that people can use to describe themselves. The purpose is not to establish rigid categories that people feel excluded from or pressured to fit into. When someone says how they identify, that’s how they see themselves. Individuals show respect by taking that person’s identity seriously.
Gender Identity: an identity based on one’s relationship to femininity and masculinity, especially as it relates to society and culture.
Gender Expression: how one externally presents one’s gender identity through behavior, clothing, haircut or voice, and which may or may not conform to socially defined behaviors and characteristics typically associated with being either masculine or feminine.
Biological Sex: A label given at birth based on medical factors, including hormones, chromosomes, and genitals.
Assigned Gender at Birth: sometimes abbreviated to AGAB, this refers to the gender identity assumed for someone at a young age, usually based on their hormones, chromosomes, and genitals at birth. Assigned Female at Birth (AFAB), Assigned Male at Birth (AMAB) are the specific designations based on above.
Nonbinary: a term someone might use to indicate that they don’t fit into the gender categories of “male” or “female.”
Transgender: anyone who doesn’t identify with their assigned gender at birth.
Cisgender: anyone who identifies with their assigned gender at birth.
Intersex: someone born with reproductive or sexual anatomy that is typically not exclusively “male” or “female” (i.e. XXY chromosomes).
Pronouns: a way to refer to someone without using their name. Historically these have been gendered, i.e. she/her or he/him. However, gender-neutral pronouns can include singular they/them, xe/xem, ze/hir, and more.
Sexual orientation: an identity based on the people someone is sexually and/or romantically attracted to.
Asexual: someone who experiences no sexual attraction to anyone (though they could still be romantically attracted to people).
Aromantic: someone who experiences no romantic attraction to anyone (though they still could be sexually attracted to people).
Gay: usually refers to men who are attracted to other men; is also used as an umbrella term for diverse sexualities.
Lesbian: women who are attracted to women. This may include nonbinary or transmasculine people that identify as part of the lesbian community.
Bisexual: someone attracted to their own gender and other genders.
Pansexual: someone who is attracted to people regardless of gender.
Queer: historically used as a slur, this term has been reclaimed as a broad umbrella term to describe sexual and gender identities other than straight and/or cisgender. Queer is sometimes used to express that sexuality and gender can be complicated, change over time, and might not fit neatly into either/or identities.
Heterosexual or Straight: a cisgender person being attracted exclusively to other cisgender people whose gender is different from your own.
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