What is Your Life About?
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Closing ThoughtsOpinion

What is Your Life About?

To stay alive, put meaning in your life.

Allen Lipis
Allen Lipis

I am reminded of a wonderful story about three men working on building a synagogue. The first man when asked what he was doing said, “I am just here to help.” The second man when asked said, “I am here because the pay is good.” The third man when asked said, “I am working to build a great cathedral.”

Now what kind of person are you? Are you just doing stuff without a plan, and most of what you do is meaningless? Or do you have goals that are meaningful for you? Do you care about what you are doing without knowing whether they are worth anything to anyone, especially you, or do you really believe that what you are doing has meaning for you or for someone you love?

If you want to care about your life so that it has value for you and those you love, then I suggest you buy an amazing book called “Man’s Search For Meaning,” written by Viktor Frankl and read it. The book was first published in 1946, right after Dr. Frankl, a psychiatrist, endured years of unspeakable horror in Nazi death camps. The book focuses on what is the most important reason for you to stay alive, and that is to find meaning in your existence. The meaning is for only you to determine and no one else.

Most of us live with the desire to find something meaningful to do, and it is only for you alone to decide. There are three ways to find meaning in your life. The first way is to create a work or do a deed. This way is obvious, you are creating, working to doing a mitzvah. The second way is to experience something or encounter someone, by experiencing nature, or a culture, or by loving another person. And the third way is the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering. Even in suffering we can find meaning when confronted with a hopeless situation, like a Nazi concentration camp, which is what Frankl experienced.

The meaning we choose for ourselves is not some long-distance plan, although that can be very meaningful for some. For me, early in my life, it was very meaningful for me to run in the Peachtree Road Race, and it took me four years to work up to that accomplishment. On the other hand, it is now meaningful for me to select a list of 10 items to complete today, like going to the bank, changing the bed, calling my sister, or finishing a book. What is meaningful in your life can be a single item over many years, or a single item for a given day. There are many meaningful things you can say are important in your life, and they can change from moment to moment, day to day, or last a lifetime.

My wife is very meaningful for me to honor and love her, and celebrate the days we have been together, and that is also true for my children and grandchildren. On the other hand, it is meaningful for me to play my monthly Texas Hold ‘Em poker, although I am clearly not the best player.

It is easy to find meaning in the good things we do: births, marriage and other celebrations. It is also easy to find meaning in work, in serving others, and in doing mitzvahs. But can you find meaning in tragedy, in the awful experiences we are forced to endure? Dr. Frankl suggest that we can remain optimistic in spite of the “tragic triad” of human existence: pain, guilt and death. We can turn suffering into a human achievement and accomplishment, we can turn guilt into a desire to change ourselves for the better, and we can find meaning in the way we accept even death.

The most essential point is that each of us has to find our own way, and in doing so find meaning in our life. Each of us is allowed to define what is meaningful to us, but what is important is to be clear about what we intend to do. There is no need to have a long-term plan, since we can change what is meaningful to us from moment to moment. The point is to be clear about what you intend to do with your life and get on with it.

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